When Your Suzuki Student Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations…

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on January 15, 2019, so links and resources may not be current.

I was disappointed this morning.

My son had his first lesson after the holiday break.

We worked hard all through the holidays. We even practiced for fifteen days straight through Christmas Eve and New Year’s.

I thought he’d made great progress.

I was excited for his teacher to see how much we’d gotten done.

It didn’t go down the way I had hoped.

It wasn’t a super productive lesson.

He was goofy and silly, as five year olds often are, and they didn’t get through much in the lesson because of it.

I was bummed.

I was disappointed.

I was frustrated.

I was embarrassed.

To my credit, I didn’t act out those feelings on my son by lecturing, yelling, etc.

I calmly talked to him about what hadn’t worked in the lesson and what behaviors weren’t acceptable and why.

He understood, I think.

And I’ll follow through this week and help him practice good lesson etiquette.

But it’s ok that I felt disappointed.

I didn’t beat myself up over it.

I treated myself with empathy and compassion.

I told myself,

“That’s how five year olds act sometimes.”

“It doesn’t mean anything about you.”

“It doesn’t mean you’re a bad Suzuki parent or teacher.”

All it means is that we need to practice good lesson behavior more.

No big deal.

We can totally do that.

Whatever struggles you’re facing in your Suzuki journey, as a teacher or parent, it’s ok that it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.

That’s not how life is.

And that’s how it’s supposed to be.

It’s ok to just be frustrated and disappointed sometimes. Those emotions are part of a healthy human life. They’re part of the deal. If you’re never disappointed that means you never had hopes or high expectations. And that would just be sad.

If you’re having a rough time, give yourself some love.

Tell yourself, “It’s ok. Nothing has gone wrong. This is as it should be.”

Sit in your disappointment. Or sadness. Or fear.

​It passes. And it’s not so bad.