This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on November 2, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

What led you to become a Suzuki parent? I bet if we sat down together, you could paint a picture for me of the beautiful dreams you had of sharing music with your child. Building your family culture around music. Helping your child prepare for adulthood by developing life skills. There are hundreds of fantastic reasons to begin the Suzuki journey with your children.

Being a Suzuki parent is amazing, right? But there are challenges too. Big ones. Stress about practicing. Fighting about practicing. Paying for lessons. Making time for practicing. Keeping your cool during practicing. Making sure listening gets done. Trying to make practicing fun. Taking useable notes during lessons. Taking care of instruments. Buying music. Attending lessons, group lessons, recitals, and more. Comparison to other parents and students. Managing your (and your child’s) expectations. Keeping your mind on practicing WHEN you’re practicing…

What on earth am I going to feed these children for dinner tonight?

Did I mention practicing? We could go on and on, right?

These challenges can take their toll on us. This is true for all, but I think especially for parents. We often let our daily pressures (sometimes called children) sometimes negatively impact our physical and emotional well-being. What’s ironic about this is that our children ultimately rely on our well-being to succeed and grow themselves.

I love this quote by Robert Brault, “As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.”

We are constantly showing our children how to respond to stress, frustration, and disappointment through our actions. Unfortunately, I often show my children that the way to handle difficult emotions is to yell at my children, watch too much tv, and eat too much junk.

We have to take care of our physical and emotional health, not just for us, but for our children too!
In order to show up our best for our children, during practice and throughout the rest of the day, here are three ESSENTIAL daily practices of emotionally healthy Suzuki parents.

1. Create and cultivate a support network.
I cannot emphasize how important this is. If our friends and family aren’t in the Suzuki world, they often don’t understand the commitment it really is for parents. It’s a huge commitment, and it is a LOT of work.

Reach out to other Suzuki parents in your community so you can discuss issues with other parents in the trenches. Maybe a Suzuki parent night out? Ask your teacher to put you in touch with a “mentor” parent, someone further along in the journey who can help you see the big picture when you’re bogged down in the nitty gritty of daily practice battles.

You can also find community on the internet, I highly recommend The Suzuki Method Parent Discussion Group. The parents there are so amazing and supportive of each other. It’s a lovely community, and very helpful.

2. Practice daily self-care.
Self-care is a pretty trendy thing to talk about right now, and that’s good because it is vital. I am not talking about ditching the kids and getting a massage or a pedicure. (though if you can, go for it!)
I’m talking about taking some time every day to do something for you. Something to rejuvenate your spirit so you can show up for your family as the best you can be. If you’re coming to practice time completely spent and exhausted, likelihood is, you aren’t going to be super patient or fun. That’s just how it goes.

Preparing mentally for practicing with your child may begin at the beginning of the day by waking up a little bit early to read or exercise. Or if waking up early isn’t your jam, maybe using an electronic babysitter sometime after breakfast so you can do some yoga. (No judgement from me. If I can’t do some yoga before the boys wake up, you can bet they are watching Octonauts after breakfast and chores so I can move my body and attempt to feel like a human being again.)

I like to take care of myself before beginning the practice session too. Sometimes we light a candle. I make myself some herbal tea. And we start our practice session with a big hug, “I’m excited to practice with you today.” Meditation might be a great way for you to get into the right mindset for practicing.

3. Develop a mindset of celebration! One of my favorite parts of Christine Goodner’s book, Beyond the Music Lesson, is a quote by Suzuki Early Childhood Education teacher trainer Sharon Jones,
Successful families work together happily; they find joy in the process. They love the experience and progress at a comfortable pace. They figure out how to be good cheerleaders for their children. I always have the image of the face of a parent—head up—huge smile on their face while watching their child in a group class.”

It seems like being this cheerleader parent is so much easier to do when they are small. We are rarely pushing them to walk earlier, and we exult over every tiny progression in our little babies. We delight in almost their every move.

Tapping into this sense of delight and celebration over our children’s small steps in practice is essential to navigating the difficulties of being a successful parent.

Celebration is about noticing all that there is to be proud of and grateful for about your child. I really believe that which we focus on, that is what will grow.

When we apply our focus and attention to the negative, that’s what is growing! But the opposite can be true, if we focus on what is going well we will increase our positive feelings and be that much more resilient in the face of challenging circumstances.

Like wiggly four year old boys.

​How do you stay sane as a Suzuki parent? Do you practice any of these ideas? What does it look like for you? Please share in the comments.

Comments

1. Jo Shannon says
   November 17, 2017 at 7:22 pm
   Very good suggestions!

October 10, 2017 by Brecklyn​
Starting a new student is an exciting, fun, and a little bit scary process. It’s wonderful to get to know a new student and family, and watch their joy and wonder over the beginning violin steps. Especially with young students, this time is just magical. It’s also scary! There’s a lot of pressure to get the foundation set up correctly. It’s important and difficult work.
This work is either made easier or more difficult by how and what we communicate to the parents. Positive, proactive, and clear instruction to the parent can make or break the whole process.


I’m pretty forgetful. I often suddenly remember at least one or two things I forgot to tell my students at the end of the day. In my early teaching years, I would often forget to tell prospective parents about some essential tenet of the Suzuki method, and then they were disappointed or surprised later when I asked or “reminded” them:

• To practice with their child daily
• To listen to the recording a LOT
• To attend lessons and group classes regularly
• There are no make up lessons for cancelled lessons
• To please not buy a violin shaped object off the internet
• And don’t buy one at all until after we’ve begun lessons and I tell you what size you need!!!

And I frequently forgot to have prospective students to come observe lessons before beginning, and almost never remembered to warn them about how first lessons would often be “parent” lessons.
Parents often were frustrated, confused, or even annoyed when this information was shared later on in the process. None of these things are “bad” or negative aspects about the Suzuki method. They are wonderful, sensible things to do when beginning a new student. The problem lies with the timing. If this information is given before beginning lessons, when the parent is just beginning to paint a picture of what this exciting journey will be like for them and their child, they are much more receptive. It makes sense. “Oh, this is how it works. Sounds good!”
But, if this information is shared, piecemeal, weeks, months, or worse, years on down the line, it is too different from the parent’s expectations, (or the past experiences for those who never realized they were supposed to be practicing with their six year old).
It will not be received as well as if it is given in the beginning of the process.
Ok, so a lot of information needs to be presented to parents at the start of their Suzuki journey. But how do we do that?
Over the years, I have realized that I’m probably not going to remember all this stuff when I’m on the phone with a prospective parent. I’m just not good at thinking on the fly while on the phone! I get flustered, and forget crucial information that new parents need. This means I have to have a system. A process I can use to make sure that I don’t forget anything important.
I finally decided on an email “course” where I sent an email each day highlighting one important aspect of the Suzuki method. All written ahead of time, I could just copy and paste the same text and email to each prospective student. This also saved me a ton of time on the phone. (Which is good because, as I mentioned above, I’m terrible over the phone anyway.)
Eventually, I set these emails to go out to new students automatically. Once I added a prospective parent’s email to the list, my email service automatically sends the email sequence at intervals I select. Slick as can be.
(Update: I used to use Convertkit as my email service, and was recommending that to you all. I no longer recommend Convertkit as my monthly price doubled without notice last month. I just spent probably 5 hours moving all of my email addresses and my email course back to Mailchimp. The interface is more intuitive for me, and the price is much better.)You can totally do this for yourself too! If you have trouble keeping track of everything you need to tell new Suzuki parents about, you can create your own process or system to share the information. Lots of teachers do new parent classes or seminars. Or you can create your own email course to send.
If you’d rather not spend the time, or you’re looking for ideas, you can download my e-guide, Suzuki Parent Education Email Templates and for the month of August you can use the coupon code BACK2SCHOOL to receive 25% off.

I’d love to hear about what you do or plan to do to improve your initial communications with new students and parents. Please share in the comments!

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on October 7, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner is an excellent book, and a quick read. I listened to it on audible last fall and loved it.

The main thesis of the book is that, “Real peace and contentment in our lives come from realizing that life is a process to engage in, a journey down a path that we can choose to experience as magical…Life itself is nothing more than one long practice session, an endless effort to refine the motions, both physical and mental, that compose our days.”

If our lives are one long practice session, as he says, then it is crucial that we all learn how to practice.(For example, in music lessons, or some other pursuit of excellence.) He defines practice as “the repetition of an activity with the purposeful awareness and intention of accomplishing an intended goal.

Suzuki teachers and parents are always talking about practicing. Teachers know it is essential to progress and confidence. Parents want to make it happen, but are often stuck in cycles of child resistance, over scheduled days, and comparisons.

I think if we take a step back we can find clarity by focusing on the value and beauty in the process of teaching our students and children to practice.

“Life is practice, in one form or another. Until then, I mistakenly associated the word practice only with art forms such as music, dance, and painting. I did not see dealing with a cranky child, an overburdened work schedule or a tight monthly budget as actions that required applying the same principles as learning music did…”

If this is true, that dealing with the difficulties of our daily adult lives requires practice, (a skill we can learn as children in Suzuki music lessons), then our goals can be much simpler, and achievable every day.

If we don’t get the whole song learned or we miss a day of practice, that’s alright. Perfection or rapid progress through the books is not our goal. The goal is to engage in practicing. To guide our children, and teach them how to work through difficulties by breaking them down in to simple, small, short, and slow increments. (There’s a WHOLE chapter about these four S’s: simplify, small, short, slow. Sound like Suzuki method, anyone?)

Much of the book discusses the trouble of being content with where we are in the process, and not getting too hung up on the goal. Impatient for the change, and wanting to rush the process of getting there. One analogy he shared, I think, is vital for parents and teachers to contemplate. “At what point is a flower perfect? Is it perfect when it is nothing more than a seed in your hand waiting to be planted? All that it will ever be is there in that moment. Is it perfect when it first starts to germinate unseen under several inches of soil? This is when it displays the first signs of the miracle we call creation. How about when it pokes its head through the surface and sees the sun for the first time? All its energies have gone into reaching for this source of life; until this point, it has had nothing more than an inner voice telling it which way to grow. What about when it begins to flower?” This goes on, but I think it is clear that when we pursue perfection, we always lose. Ideals are frozen and stagnant, but true perfection is “limitless, unbounded, and always expanding.” We can never reach it, because the goal will keep changing!

I found it helpful to put my own children in the place of that flower. “At what point is my child perfect? When my two year old is potty-trained? When they learn to read? When they sleep through the night?” Obviously, they were perfect to me at their birth. What changed? Only me, I changed the benchmark of perfection. I struggle to remember that exactly where they are is exactly what should be. They are perfect on every step of the way, because they need to pass through each difficulty ahead of them.

As Dr. Suzuki said, “Never hurry, never rest.”

I could probably talk about this book all day, but I will content myself to share some of the quotes I highlighted in my readings, the ones must applicable to Suzuki parents and teachers.

“[Children] live in the present moment, but not really by their own choice; it’s just how they are. There is a paradox here. What’s frustrating as an adult, with regard to teaching them to teaching them to stay in the present when they are engaged in something that requires perseverance, is that kids can’t see the point. Why work at something that requires a long-term commitment, a perception of time outside the present moment? All they know is their perspective as children. They have no concept of what lies ahead. They don’t see how discipline and effort can pay such great dividends over time, but we do. This paradox is both their and our strengths and weaknesses in the same moment.”

“Look at an activity such as piano lessons. Many children can’t see the point in practicing because they have no concept of being able to play well and the enjoyment that would bring to them. That is why they get impatient. Why do it? Adults, however, do possess an understanding of the point of practicing, and our impatience stems from the precisely opposite reason. We do have a concept of what it would be like to play well, and that is the very reason that we get impatient. We can’t play well enough, soon enough.”

“The answer is that this mindset influences everything. It is the blank page on which we draw our lives. It determines not only what we draw but also why we are able to draw.”

“The practicing mind is quiet. It lives in the present and has laser-like, pinpoint focus and accurate… We are where we should be at that moment, doing what we should be doing and completely aware of what we are experiencing. There is no wasted motion, physically or mentally.”

“When you focus on the process, the desired product takes care of itself with fluid ease. When you focus on the product, you immediately begin to fight yourself and experience boredom, restlessness, frustration, and impatience with the process.”

“In order to focus on the present, we must give up, at least temporarily, our attachment to the desired goal. If we don’t give up our attachment to the goal, we cannot be in the present because we are thinking about something that hasn’t occurred yet: the goal…When you shift your goal from the product you are trying to achieve to the process of achieving it, a wonderful phenomenon occurs: all pressure drops away. This happens because, when your goal is to pay attention to only what you are doing right now, as long as you are doing just that, you are reaching your goal in each and every moment.”

(I think this is essential for teachers and parents. We must focus on the present when we are working with our children. If we can focus on where we are right now, without judgment or “shoulds,” we can actually help the child in front of us.)

Here’s a good one:

“The instructor knows just what he or she wants the student to produce. The teacher observes the student’s actions, and when the student does something that is moving in the wrong direction, the instructor gently brings it to the student’s attention and pulls the student back onto the proper path. A good instructor does not get emotional in response to the student moving off the path. That kind of negative emotion comes from expectations, and that is not the perspective wee want to have if we are to be our own instructor. Expectations are tied to a result or product, to the thought that “things should be this way right now, and until then I won’t be happy.” When you experience these kinds of emotions, they are indicators that you’ve fallen out of the process, or out of the present moment.”

I will say that I have been a bad instructor. Many times. Letting go of expectations is hard work to do, but essential.

“We need to let go of the futile idea that happiness is out there somewhere, and embrace the infinite growth available to us as a treasure, not as something that we are impatient to overcome.”

Essential for new parents:

“What lies in wait to ambush our enthusiasm is our lack of preparation: We are undertaking an art that is infinite in its potential for growth, and because of that we need to prepare to let go of the goal of being “good” at it quickly. There is no goal to reach other than pursuing the activity.”
This is hard. I’m not going to be “good” at being a Suzuki parent quickly, nor will my child be “good” at playing the violin or piano or whatever quickly. There shall be no goal to reach other than the pursuing the activity.

“Progress is a natural result of staying focused on the process of doing anything. When you stay on purpose, focused in the present moment, the goal comes toward you with frictionless ease. However, when you constantly focus on the goal you are aiming for, you push it away instead of pulling it toward you.”

“Cheating discipline doesn’t work…To express a melody on any instrument as it comes from your heart is an experience you have to earn. The universe is not about to give that away for anything but your personal effort. As you work at the process of learning music, you spend time alone with yourself and the energy of music or whatever art form you pursue. It’s a very honorable relationship, really. You need music to express yourself, and music needs you to be expressed. You give your time and energy to music, and it returns the effort a thousandfold. A lot of the joy of expressing yourself musically is in your awareness of how much of your personal energy and stamina it took you to reach your current performance level.”

“Whether you are persevering at a diet, exercising regularly, running a marathon, or achieving another personal goal, if your task is completed with little or no effort, it means nothing.”

​There are probably fifty more passages I highlighted. We could go on and on. It was way too woo-woo for my husband, but just the right amount for me. (I’m a little bit woo-woo myself. I’ll admit it.)
What were your thoughts about The Practicing Mind? Or if you didn’t get a chance to read it in September, about the quotes? I’d love to hear form you in the comments.

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on October 2, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.
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Staying in peak physical condition is very important for musicians, we are athletes, in a sense. The physical demands of playing an instrument are significant, and building muscle and staying healthy can make performing and practicing much more enjoyable.

Here are 10 Essential Fitness Exercises for Musicians from TakeLessons.com, check out their post for more information…

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on September 26, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

Occasionally, I will realize that I have really messed up my violin studio.  I’ve not created boundaries around my time.  Or I wasn’t clear about my expectations for practice or listening.  I’ll come to the conclusion that things need to change.  Maybe you’ve felt the same in your own studio.  But how do we press reset on our studio families?  How do we upset the status quo and transform our studios into the studios we dream of?

I think it all starts with a clear plan..

• What do you want your studio to look like once you’ve made the change?
• How do you want to create that change?

Once you’ve ironed out these details, it’s time to do it!

One option for creating change is to start fresh–a new location, new students and families, hey!  Maybe even a new instrument.  Who knows?

Another is to lead your current studio along, step by step, into a new way.  A better way, hopefully.

As with any change, people usually are a little bit resistant.  You know this is true in your own life, and you’ve seen studio parents and students balk at the slight adjustments.  Just think about changing your shoulder rest.  Chaos!  Upheaval!

Last fall, I decided I wanted to change to a weekly group lesson in my studio.  I’d wanted to for A LONG TIME.  I love group lesson, and I remembered how wonderful weekly group classes were when I was involved in the Pre-college String Academy at Indiana University.

I resisted making this change because I was so sure that none of my studio families would be on board.  It’s one more thing.  They are already so busy.  People just aren’t as dedicated to the arts in my community.

First, it doesn’t help me at all to be assuming these things, they aren’t even necessarily true or false!  These are opinions–loosely based on my perspective of other people’s actions.  Hardly good data.
So I decided to go for it.

But I wanted to be smart about it.  And I want you to be smart about any studio changes in the works for your studio.

Your biggest hurdle will be to get your studio parents on board, so that’s where you need to start.
You need to sell them on the outcome of the change.  How does it help them?  How does it help their child?  (If there is no benefit for the parent, you shouldn’t be doing it, or you be more creative to find the benefit.)

For example, when I changed to weekly group lessons, I thought the benefit to parents would be less child resistance to practice.  Group lessons are crazy fun, but you have to be prepared with your review and technique if you want to play the games.  (I ended up being right on the money here.  Weekly group lessons are AMAZING.

If you can find a very compelling benefit for the parent AND the child, and paint a beautiful picture of how life will be different you will be much more successful than if you just give them the information straight.

Of course, some changes will be more difficult to sell.  Changing to a “No Make Ups” policy, or raising your rates are trickier, but not impossible.  Many parents will understand, and the ones who don’t…  I’m not totally sure they are worth the emotional toil they require.
If it is helpful, I’ve included the text of my group lesson change email below.  Feel free to copy as you need.

It is time to unveil some of the coming changes to the Ferrin violin studio!  I’m so excited to tell you about them.

I know that practicing is a struggle.  I know it’s a fight, and I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with a solution to make things easier for you.  

I think I have one.

Beginning in September 2016 we will be moving to a weekly group lesson.  I know you are busy, and I didn’t make this decision lightly.  Here is why I think this is the best move for the studio, and more importantly, for your child:

There is nothing more motivating and fun than playing music with your friends.  Playing the violin can become very lonely.  Weekly group lessons will foster a sense of community and belonging for your child that just isn’t possible with a less frequent group lesson.

Practicing will be less of a chore.  Your child will be excited to practice their assigned review pieces for group, because they want to be successful in the games we have planned.  They’ll put more effort into their solo pieces, because they know they will be performing every week in group lesson.  They will want to polish their group performance pieces because they don’t want to let down their team.  
And…best of all, it’s one day a week that you don’t need to worry about practicing.  In addition to all the group lesson fun, we will get lots of good practicing done–together!  Take the day off, parents, I got this one.

I’m collaborating with a few other teachers in the area to fill these classes but they will stay pretty small–just big enough to make them extra exciting and fun.

Because you have been in my studio for awhile, your tuition rate will be much less than what I am charging new students.  In fact, even though I will be spending twice as much time with your student each week (and more planning time) your tuition change is not changing.  

I truly believe this is going to be a game changer for my students, and I’m excited to see their ability develop and their excitement grow as a direct result of this change.  
I have created a survey this week to get everyone’s availability for the Fall schedule, you can fill that out here. (I had a link to a google form here.) I need these requests by August 1st.  The yearly calendar (with all workshops, recitals, and important events) will be sent out before August 1st, so you can plan for the whole year in advance.

I have included more specific information about tuition below, if you have any questions or concerns please let me know.

Best,
Brecklyn

I really had very little pushback on this change.  Only one parent was concerned, and most were very excited about it.  It was a huge benefit to my studio, and our sense of community flourished.  I love group lessons.  There will be blog posts about that soon!

​How do you get studio parents onboard with your studio changes?  Please share in the comments, we’d love to learn from you!
​

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on September 4, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.


Guest Post by Deborah Tayloe

Everyone’s heard how about the value of learning music. It is supposed to help with school, social skills, and more. You are slugging through daily practice, driving to lessons, working hard. Ultimately, you try to assure yourself, after all this work, your child will eventually learn to play. However, you may be missing the bigger lessons that your children are learning from playing the violin.

Here’s some food for thought.

LESSON ONE: IT’S OK TO MAKE MISTAKES

In today’s ultra-competitive schools and workplaces, it’s important that kids learn that it’s ok to make mistakes!

Rest assured, your child will make mistakes when she’s learning to play the violin. It’s a natural part of the learning process. In fact, even the most experienced, accomplished violinists make mistakes!

It’s not the mistake that matters, it’s how you learn from the mistake. Your child will learn to recognize that he made a mistake, take advice on how to fix it, and move forward with a fresh start. While that’s a great skill for a budding violinist, is it not quite applicable to all of us in everyday life?

LESSON TWO: HOW TO ACCEPT FEEDBACK

The second life lesson your child will learn during violin lessons is how to accept feedback. We all get feedback…all day, every day. We hear opinions from our employers, spouses, children, and even on social media.

Your child will get feedback from her violin instructor. As your child plays his violin, the teacher will help him make adjustments that will improve his playing.

This type of interaction will teach him that it’s perfectly fine to listen to suggestions, process the information, make corrections, and move on without being angry or offended. He will learn to work with others and be accepting of other opinions. This skill will transfer with him to home, school, and the workplace.

LESSON THREE: TIME MANAGEMENT

Another life lesson that is very important is punctuality. It seems that we are all in a rush, shuffling from one meeting or appointment to the next. Inevitably, our plans get messed up and we are late to something.

Look at this honestly…we all have the same number of hours in the day. Some people manage their time better than others. We run late not because of lack of time, but the lack of time management.
Children who learn to play the violin learn to balance school, homework, practice, lessons, and recitals. They learn quickly that if they are not a recital, the show will go on without them! Learning this skill is very practical…and it’s not a skill that’s taught at any school. It’s one that’s learned from experience.

LESSON FOUR: THE VALUE OF COLLABORATION

Playing the violin can be a very collaborative effort. Children who learn to play the violin learn to get along with others. They will collaborate with their instructors, an ensemble, accompanists, and other violin students.

Let’s be honest. You may know somebody who you don’t like very well, but you need to deal with often. It can be another mom on a child’s team, a co-worker, or even a family member. However, for the sake of the team/office/family unit you learn to work with that person.
This is an important life lesson! We need to be able to collaborate and work well with others.

LESSON FIVE: WAITING PATIENTLY

It’s really hard to wait. Even as an adult, I get impatient when people are late for an appointment.
For example, I schedule a dental exam six months early. Yet, when I arrive a few minutes early, I usually wait for 20 minutes before being called back for my appointment. I’m sure that you’ve experienced the same situation.

In times like this, we can either be stressed out and let our blood pressure rise, or we can pull out our tablet and take advantage of doing something productive with our free time.

Children need to learn to wait patiently, and this is a difficult concept to teach. Children who play musical instruments will have wait time. They will wait for the instructor to be ready for their lesson, they will wait for their cue to play in an ensemble, they will wait for Mom or Dad to pick them up from rehearsal.

This is a teaching opportunity. While children have wait time, they will learn to use the time to do homework, practice the violin, or just relax and play a game on their phone. Indeed, this grooms them for a lifetime of waiting patiently for other people instead of being stressed.

LESSON SIX: HOW TO WORK ALONE

It seems like kids today are so plugged in. They are surrounded by friends and family. However, they are also plugged into social media and can connect to someone quickly with just a few keystrokes.

But alone time is also a great thing! Children will learn that alone does not equal lonely. It gives them time to perfect their playing, complete schoolwork, and even just daydream.

Children who play the violin will learn how to spend time alone and work alone. They will learn to work alone, independent of others, while they practice or sit waiting for lessons to start. They can even be encouraged to visualize an outcome of their musical aspirations.

In the very “connected” society today, alone time is something that children will learn to value.

So when you’re frustrated and tired, keep these 6 life lessons children learn from playing the violin in your back pocket. Pull them out and renew your commitment. It’s worth it!

​AUTHOR BIO: Deborah Tayloe is a professional writer and blogger for Musical Instruments Expert. When she’s not writing, you’ll probably find her unwinding by playing her violin.

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on September 1, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

Hello friends,

Thank you for all of the very kind, supportive emails over the past week.  You are all amazing.  Honestly, I felt a little nervous, ashamed, even guilty about telling people about how my studio had changed.  I felt selfish letting students go to spend more time with my family, (I also felt guilty about spending more time with my students than with my family, so I guess I just can’t win.  Haha.)
But, as usual, the outpouring of support and empathy was absolutely incredible.  We Suzuki teachers truly are so fortunate to be a part of such a nurturing community.

Just last night, I was able to spend an hour with some of my colleagues at the Gifted Music School, and when I left…I felt so good.  I felt understood and appreciated.  I know not all of us can or want to teach in a school situation, and that’s fine, but I’d like to urge everyone to build some sort of teacher community around you.  Either in person or online.  Whatever makes more sense for you.
If you already have one, cultivate it!  Re-invest in those relationships.  They are invaluable.

Ok.  Thanks for indulging me, on to my Five Violin Teaching Tips, Tricks, and Resources I’m Loving This Week.
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1. This month’s book club pick is The Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in Your Life — Master Any Skill or Challenge by Learning to Love the Process by Thomas Sterner. I listened to this on audible last year, and it was fascinating! Mr. Sterner is actually a piano tuner himself, so there’s lots of mention of music and music practice. It’s a great read. I just ordered a paperback copy to mark up this month for the book club. I can’t wait to dive into this book again.

2. Have you looked at the Performance and Pedagogy Descriptors on the SAA website?  I recently printed them out and hung them near my chair in my studio.  It’s easy to glance over to quickly remind myself of the qualities of beautiful playing and effective teaching.  Two things I’m especially focused on right now are “[Developing] observation skills by inviting the student to describe his or her own performance, demonstrations by the teacher, and/or professionally recorded performances” and “[Giving] specific advice  regarding home practice.”

3. Speaking of Suzuki community support, have you joined the Suzuki Triangle Facebook Group?  I love it, and learn so much from the other members.  I also recommend joining the International Music Teachers Exchange Group.  There’s also a Plucky Violin Teacher Book Club Group, but honestly, I really haven’t been posting anything for a long while.  I’m going to do better though.  Starting now!

4. My fall semester began August 23rd for my home studio, but doesn’t begin until September 12th for my studio at the Gifted Music School, so I’ve still been getting things organized.  I really liked this idea from Teach Piano Today as a way to start the year off right and get to know my students a little better.  (Of course, the wording would have to be changed to reflect an existing student relationship…and violin.)

5.  Ok, true confessions…I’m terrible at budgeting.  Let me rephrase that, using my growth mindset skills, I’m still learning how to budget, I’m not fantastic at it YET.  As I’ve been practicing being a better budgeter for my teaching business, I’ve really liked using Mint.com to keep track of my business expenses and income.  What do you use?

I’d love to hear from you, what teaching tools are you in love with right now?  Please let me know in the comments!
Recent Posts:
Book Club: Teaching with an Open Heart Review
How to Deal With the Turmoil of Changing Suzuki Teachers (For Suzuki Parents)
Why I Totally Changed Suzuki Parent Education in My Studio…

This post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on August 28, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

Transferring to a new Suzuki teacher is not an uncommon occurrence, and it can be a very good thing. There are many reasons why you might be changing teachers. Your teacher retired, you’ve moved to a new area, or it is time for a new perspective. No matter your reason, changing teachers is surprisingly difficult. As adults, I think we often underestimate the emotional upheaval we all experience when a child changes teachers.

I’d like you to imagine for a minute what it is like to be your Suzuki child. They have seen their teacher one-on-one, at least once a week, for a long time. Years, even. What other adults do they interact with so consistently? As a Suzuki student, I think I saw my teachers more often than my grandparents, or aunts and uncles! While, yes, the teacher-student-parent relationship is a professional one, a bond is created. It is so important to be sensitive to this relationship if you want the transition to go smoothly.

As a teacher, I have been on both the sending and receiving end of students transferring studios. Sometimes, I do a better job helping fmailies make this adjustement than others. Here’s what I believe parents can do to make the experience a little easier on everyone.

1. Respect your former teacher. This means, make sure you’re not damaging the relationship in your exit. The Suzuki community is tight-knit, you will likely still see your former teacher at Institute, play-ins, graduations, etc. You should also respect your former teacher in front of your child. Speak kindly of the former teacher, and express gratitude for the work they have done with your child. Show your child your pride in their work by respecting their mentor.

2. Take your time to choose your new teacher carefully. You want to make sure the new studio is a good fit for your child and your family. It’s great to have a trial lesson, but it may be more useful to observe other students’ lessons, group lessons, or recitals. The worst case would be to join a new studio, and then find it isn’t the right place, and change AGAIN. This kind of upheaval leads nowhere is fruitless and unnecessary. Take your time.

3. Manage your expectations, and prepare your child to do the same. When we change teachers, there are a lot of adjustments. Every teacher is different, has a different vocabulary, activities, styles, and expectations…This is a good thing! Be aware that the first few months with a new teacher may be spent on just getting everything. Fortunately, we all have our common repertoire, so you may spend some time on review while everyone adjusts. This is normal, and should not be met with frustration. Prepare your child ahead of time for the possibility of a period of slower progress before things pick back up again.

4. Respect your new teacher. Your new teacher will be different from your former teacher. This is hardly news, I know, but it needs to be said. If you have concerns, please let your new teacher know over the phone or email. Do not speak critically of your new teacher in front of your child. Doing so will sabotage any efforts your teacher makes in lessons. If you do not trust and respect your teacher as the authority, your child will not either. No progress is ever made in a situation like this. Speak kindly and gratefully of your new teacher in front of your child, and show them how important their musical education is to you by deferring to the current teacher. Establishing a relationship of trust with the new teacher is priority one for you and your child, please don’t sow any seeds of doubt during this process.

5. Get excited! Focus on the positive. How amazing is it that we got to work with such an amazing teacher, and now we get to work with another amazing teacher? Model a positive attitude, and look for the good in your former teacher AND your new teacher. For me, I feel so privileged to be a part of this supportive and loving community, and to help parents nurture and develop their children into fine human beings. Truly, where love is deep, much can be accomplished. We are so much better off if we cultivate the love in our hearts for ourselves, our children, and their teachers.

This blog post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on August 23, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

Teaching with An Open Heart: A Guide to Developing Conscious Musicianship for Suzuki Parents, Teachers, and Students…This book does not disappoint! I loved Teaching from the Balance Point, and Teaching with an Open Heart was the perfect follow-up.

In the beginning of the book, Mr. Kreitman outlines reasons that parents give for wanting their child to learn music, for example:
-Learn to manage their time effectively
-Improve their focus and concentration
-Develop poise and the ability to present themselves in public, whether preforming or speaking
Gain a lifelong love of music
-Develop problem solving skills and healthy confidence in the face of struggles
-Learn to break complex problems into small, manageable steps
and more.

He then makes this very interesting point,

"If these are the reasons that we are studying music, the measure four progress should be defined by these qualities — rather than whether our child is playing Witches’ Dance or The Two Grenadiers…Perhaps we should not think of these personal qualities as the “side benefits” of studying music, but instead the reason for study. The musical instrument then becomes the vehicle for personal transformation, and the side benefit is that the student will play a musical instrument very well."

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all, parents and teachers, shift our mindset to one where success in violin lessons (or any music lessons) is determined by the qualities we are developing with our children? Truly, that’s where the true heart of the Suzuki philosophy lies.

Later, Mr. Kreitman outlines four modes of energy:

• Push—like water moving through a hose
• Pull—a wave of water pulling out to sea
• Stop—like the hose kinked so water can’t escape
• Allow—the hose, faucet off, and the remaining water flowing where gravity takes it

…

String players use the very same words to describe how we physically play our instruments. We pull the bow on the down bow. We push the bow on an up bow, and we allow the bow to stop on the string, We allow the energy to flow through our bodies, and into the bow and instrument to make sound. Many of the musical and technical difficulties that students experience in their playing are the result of using stop instead of allow. When a student holds tension in his bow hand, wrist, or elbow, that tension stops the flow of energy to the instrument. When a student holds tension in her left hand (usually form holding the the instrument, the tension stops the flow of energy needed for left-hand facility and vibrato.

I’ve spoken to my students about blocking the flow of energy into their bow arms in other terms but not so explicitly, I’m excited to discuss these concepts with some of my students later today!

I was very intrigued by this idea Mr. Kreitman shared, as I have observed Debbie Moench do this in her lessons with book 1 students but I’ve never done it myself.

One of the most important practices I have incorporated into my teaching is hearing the student play every piece, starting with a Twinkle variation, at every Book 1 lesson…Under these conditions, we can work on fundamental changes in the playing — those related to the experience at the instrument — rather than details related to the repertoire. Most of the playing is demonstrating the student’s best, which allows the instructor or parent to give the student lots of genuine and specific positive feedback. After 20 minutes or so of hearing the student’s best playing and offering constructive opportunities for improvement, it is possible to approach the “working piece” with gusto. There’s no need to worry that correcting wrong notes or bowings or struggling with a new technique will diminish the child’s self-esteem. The child already knows you think her to be capable, present, responsive, and enjoying the process of learning. Any suggestions for improvement are easily accepted because of the child’s experience of validation during the playing of the review material.

It’s a long quote, sorry, but I’m really excited about this idea, and I wanted you to hear the idea straight from the source. I can’t wait to start using this in my lessons. Starting today!

I was also very excited to read this sentence in the book, “Unfortunately, most of the chatter that goes on in our heads has nothing to do wit the music or our performance of it…Thoughts that are self-critical tend to trigger negative emotional reactions, which take us to the inward emotional realm of awareness.” This is right in line with things I’ve been learning in the field of self-coaching. Thoughts trigger feelings, feelings drive actions, and our actions determine our results in our lives.

My copy of Teaching with An Open Heart is now covered in highlighter and notes, I really enjoyed it.

​What did you think of the book? What did you like about it? What will you be implementing in your studio?

This blog post was originally published on the Plucky Violin Teacher blog on August 21, 2017 so links and resources may not be current.

How Automation Keeps Me Sane…

In recent years, I have begun to realize how much power I have to create the culture and community in my Suzuki violin studio. Any “issues” or “frustrations” I have had with parents or students, if I look hard enough, I can trace back to my own actions. And, as enticing as it is to blame other people for these “problems,” this knowledge, the realization that I’ve created my own student headaches, is a wonderful thing! If I created the issue…then I can fix it!

( I have found this to be true in many if not all areas of my life, not just in my Suzuki violin studio.)

Here’s an example:
I have spent the last five years, longing to start holding weekly group lessons with my students. I loved the weekly group lesson model in the String Academy at IU, and I really wanted my violin students to have that experience. I whined about it. I complained about it. I said “No one will come to violin lessons twice a week.” “Parents and students in my area don’t want that.” “They probably won’t want to make that kind of commitment.” “I’ll lose all my students, not be able to pay rent, and we’ll all be out on the street…” Okay, maybe I didn’t spin out that far, not all the time anyway.

Last summer, after attending Intermountain Suzuki String Institute and taking Suzuki book 4 with Mark Mutter, who holds weekly group in his Suzuki school and loves it, I resolved to do it. I prepared myself to take the plunge. I decided to fully commit.

I carefully crafted an email to my studio families to notify them of the change. Very deliberately, I explained why weekly group lessons were a great thing for them (the parent.)

Want to know how I explained the change? This will be coming in another blog post soon, so make sure you don’t miss it by subscribing to my email list at the bottom of this post.

I raised my rates, which was long overdue anyway, to cover the extra time required of me to hold these group lessons.

Gritting my teeth, I prepared for the worst.

And you know what, it wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was great. The majority of my students were excited about the changes, and weekly group lessons completely changed the culture of my studio for the better.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson. If I don’t something about my studio, I need to take steps to change it.

I quickly realized that there were things that I could do to address these issues: lack of parent involvement, poor practice habits, lackluster listening, and more. I had no system for Suzuki parent education. I encouraged people to read Nurtured by Love, and hoped they’d figure it out by osmosis, or by my passive aggressive reminders in lessons. And, mostly, I just whined about it to my husband. Very effective. (sarcasm.)

I didn’t feel like I had the time to hold parent education meetings, and I have rolling admission to my studio, so to do a meeting every time I had a new student wouldn’t be practical. So, I decided to create an email course. When I have a prospective parent contact me, I send them a little bit of info about my studio—including the pdf “What Every Parent Needs to Know about the Suzuki Method.” I also let them know I will be sending them an 7-day email course with more information for helping children thrive in music lessons.

I use Mailchimp, an email marketing service, to automatically send these emails at intervals to people who contact me about lessons, I also sent the course to all of my current students. It’s super slick. And I think it is working. My students are more dedicated, and more committed. My parents are on the same page with me. We’re working together.

I’m happier. And I think my students and their parents are too.

If you’d like to use my 7-day email course, you can purchase it here.

It’s 25% off until March 1st with the code: VALENTINE

​All proceeds from the sale of these templates go towards hosting and maintenance of the Plucky Violin Teacher blog and coming podcast!


Comments

1. Christine Hoffmann says
   August 26, 2017 at 4:58 pm
   Hello Brecklyn,
   Great info. When I click on “Download the email template here.” there is no link.
   Thank you,
   Chris
2. Phyllis Calderon says
   August 31, 2017 at 12:29 am
   You have inspired me…. again! I, too, felt burned out as the Spring term was winding down, and actually broke my left foot during the last week of teaching at a summer camp, a sign, I believe to slow down. I was teaching at three summer camps, plus my private studio teaching. Too much!!!
   After my summer teaching ended, my husband and I drove over 20 hours (from Chicago to Arizona) to drop our only son off at college in Phoenix. I hobbled around the GCU campus and thought, I have gone to change some things. We are now empty nesters and I am in the process of slowing down.
   However, before reading your email/blog post, I was telling my husband I really want to do the Suzuki early childhood education. This is where my heart is, honestly. I love teaching the babies, the pre-school age students, the most. I also love the administrative aspect of setting up programs in schools and other organizations that want a thriving music program with the Suzuki model as a foundation. I have lots to pray about…
   At any rate, thank you for putting fire in my gut, to get me going here.
   Phyllis Calderon
   • Brecklyn says
     August 31, 2017 at 4:24 am
     You are so sweet, I’m glad to be helpful! Burn out is serious business, and it sounds like you’ve had a ton on your plate! You definitely should do the Suzuki Early Childhood Education training. It was incredible. If you feel drawn to that age group, you would love it. It was life-changing for me, in a lot of ways. I highly recommend it.